


2:04am

by reinvention



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: M/M, i'm really annoyed they didn't get a resolution okay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-13
Updated: 2017-09-13
Packaged: 2018-12-27 14:48:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12083295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reinvention/pseuds/reinvention
Summary: Jared couldn't sleep.





	2:04am

**_ 2:04am _ **

 

Jared couldn't sleep. He had spent the last two hours tossing and turning, memories of what he had done burning in his mind, memories filled with guilt and regret. If he had just one chance to go back and make everything right, he would, but it was far too late to make things right now.

 

_"I could tell everyone_ **_everything_ ** _."_

 

He hadn't apologised, he never even tried to. Months had passed, and he hadn't even tried to contact Evan, and it sure as hell didn't seem like Evan was going to make any attempts to reach out to him. All he was left with the terrifying thought that his last words ever to be spoken to Evan Hansen were

 

_"_ **_Fuck you_ ** _Evan, asshole."_

 

**_ 2:47am _ **

 

Jared couldn’t breathe. He had fucked up, and there was no chance of making things right. Tears flowed down his face, soaking his pillow. It was all his fault, stupid Jared Kleinman’s fault.

 

He couldn’t stand to be in his room. Everywhere he looked, he saw memories of him and Evan, from when everything hadn’t gone to utter shit. Things couldn’t ever be like that again, it was too late, the world had changed, Evan had changed, Jared had changed.

 

Before he knew what he was doing, Jared had put some shoes on and was out the door into the warm night. It was quiet, peaceful even, the exact opposite of the inside of his mind. He didn’t know where he would go, but anywhere seemed better than home.

 

**_ 3:09am _ **

 

Jared had found himself in a park, sitting on a play structure he was definitely too big for. It was _really_ dark, the only source of light being the hazy glow of the street lights, and his phone, which he glanced down at for the millionth time, Evan Hansen’s contact glaring back at him. What if he did do it? What if he actually called him? What would he say? After months of silence?

 

_Hey buddy! You’ve deprived me of a shit ton of sleep and every time I see something that reminds me of you I cry!_

 

Jared couldn’t stop staring at his phone, finding it odd that after months of being too scared to even look at his contact, he was now considering trying to actually talk to him.

 

**Fuck it.**

 

He closed his eyes and pressed the call button, and as it rang, the doubt started to set it. There was no way Evan would pick up, it was three something in the morning, and he had probably blocked his number. Why would he ever want to speak to Jared again anyw-

 

“Jared?”

 

A wave of relief washed over Jared. He actually picked up. He was on the phone with Evan Hansen.

 

“Uh, hi.”

 

Within seconds, the relief was replaced with panic. What was he supposed to say? Does Evan even want to talk to him? Why would he want to speak to someone so horrible?

 

“Jared are you okay? Do you need me to come over?”

 

Jared had been too caught up in his own thoughts to realise that he was hyperventilating. God why couldn’t he keep it together for five seconds, why was he such a fucking mess, why couldn’t he do anything without fucking it up

 

“Jared? Are you still there?”

 

Fuck.

 

“I’m at that park at the end of Zachary St, but that would be good, yeah.”

 

**_ 3:28am _ **

 

“Jared? Are you here?”

 

This was really happening.

 

_“Jared?”_

 

Jared heard the sound of Evan climbing up the equipment, and felt him sit down beside him. He didn’t want to look up. He didn’t want to have to finally face the boy, the friend, he fucked everything up with.

 

It was silent for a few minutes, both boys staring down at their hands, not knowing where to start. There were a million things to say, but in that moment, nothing could be said. It was just utter silence, until Evan started to speak.

 

“Jared I'm so sorry, for all of this. I didn't mean for you to get roped into this, this lie. I'm sorry, for leaving you behind, for snapping at you, god Jared I'm so sorry. I never meant for it to go this far, this was never supposed to happen, I’m so sorry.”

 

Evan finally looked up at Jared, tears streaming down his face, waiting for the other boy to say something.

 

“I'm sorry too. I treated you like utter shit for so many years. I made you suffer due to my own stupid insecurities, I'm so fucking sorry. I'm sorry I even convinced you to lie in the first place, I mean, if it wasn't for me, you would have told the Murphys the truth, you could have avoided all of this. I'm sorry Evan, for everything. I'm sorry for being such an asshole, I'm sorry it took you so long to realise. If I was you I would have ditched me a lot earlier. I'm so sorry Evan.”

 

Jared’s face was soaked in tears, as he looked at the boy whose life he ruined for the first time in months. Even though he was crying, Evan looked so much happier, hopeful, than he was the last time they spoke.

 

Before either of them could say anything else, Jared reached out to hug Evan. They just stayed there, hugging, crying, for what felt like hours, before Evan finally said something.

 

**_ 4:01am _ **

 

“It’s late, we should go home. You can come back to my place though.”

 

And that’s what they did. They made their way back to Evan’s house, where they were greeted by Heidi. It was odd, seeing Jared Kleinman in her house for the first time in months at 4am, but she didn’t protest, deciding instead to make the boys hot chocolate, as they sat down on the couch and just talked, talked until they were so tired they couldn’t talk anymore, talked until they had headaches from crying.

 

**_ 5:54am _ **

 

They had talked until they had fallen asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> jdfjbjdfhg i don't know how to write


End file.
